Thursday, January 22, 2009

In This Moment I Remember

My Sweetheart,

Five years ago at this moment I was joyfully and fearfully laboring with you. I waited to see your face, your promise, my hope for the future. I didn't know what was yet in store nor all that occurred in your life already. But if your being two and a half weeks late hadn't proven to me already how much stubbornness was contained in your tiny body, the next few days would.

There was no way to know the fight that was going on between my body and yours. All we knew was that you were a perfect eight pound beautiful girl. When you were having trouble breathing in that first hour of your life our midwife determined that you need more specialized help that she could give.

Two hours after your body was cut from mine you were taken from my sight. I was not prepared for anything that followed. The next time I saw you I could hardly bear to look. We were supposed to be home already, our new little family. Instead we were ushered into the NICU of Children's Hospital.

You were sent as a precaution for the sticky fluid on your lungs, but the next few days spiraled out of my control, something that I could hardly bear then ...and now.

Platelets practically nonexistent.
Transfusions aren't working.
Can't figure out why.
Blood work expedited to Wisconsin.
Unpronounceable words.
No more children.
Do not have more children.
No brothers.
No sisters.

...But, I had my precious angel.

Please don't ever forget how precious you are to me.
I am so thankful for you.


Denise said...

This was a beautiful tribute to your precious blessing of a daughter.

lupusurvivor said...

oh truly wonderful story.

Serendipity said...

Your daughter is so adorable! Love her smile! Thank you for dropping by!

Lori said...

What a beautiful story. I had a premature baby, so I read your heart here. Thank you for sharing these precious photos with us. Have a wonderful day.

Laurie Ann said...

What a precious, precious story. Happy Thankful Thursday!

Sandy said...

This is a beautiful remembrance of God's blessing in your life.

Melanie said...

A beautiful story and tribute to your precious little girl!

Happy Thankful Thursday!

Tracy Berta-daughter to the King, wife, mother, speaker, writer said...

What a beautiful tribute! Wow! It seems like children are the theme this week for TT!!!!!

I'm so glad you stopped by and left a comment. Oh, Sister! There have been so many times that I haven't stopped to ask God for wisdom and said something UNGodly to my children! (Or missed a great opportunity!) That is why I am so THANKFUL for His wisdom and that He has reminded me to ASK! :)

Thanks so much for dropping by!

Look forward to "chatting" again.

Have a GREAT day! Happy TT!

Grammy said...

I am glad to see you have a little angle to share you life with. And glad he is now happy and healthy.

Chanin said...

How sweet!

Thanks for commenting on my blog the other day! I have a coupon for you! Email me at snowflakebeachdesigns(at)gmail(dot)com

Denise said...

Your daughter is incredibly precious. Thank goodness she survived. I've never checked out your blog before, I have no idea why! Would you mind if I add you to my blog roll?

JanMary said...

Thanks so much for sharing.

She is indeed most precious.